The Tip.It Times

Issue 8799gp

A Day in a Life in RuneScape #1: Bessy the Dairy Cow

Written by and edited by Racheya

Before Bessy was finally designated as the dairy cow of Falador Cow Pasture, she had quite a hard life. You see, Death was always at her gate. Every moment of her life (and probably afterlife), she was tormented with the fact that some crazed adventurer would come and slash her down with their mighty bronze dagger. As her spirit moved away from her body, now only bits of hide, meat, and bones, Death would remind her that it was only a matter of time before she was back again. If death wasn’t her problem, then it was the greed of the pesky humans. Loaded with buckets, they would milk her nonstop (unless she managed to land a kick), hour after hour, until their buckets were brimming full. It wasn’t long before they came back for more.

Finally, she had enough.

One summer evening, as she heard the wailing moos of the heifers, she crept up behind a bold adventurer. Oh he was daring indeed. The leather armour he wore on his chest still smelled like poor Daisy, the chaps on his legs were of Blossom, and the helmet… Oh the helmet! It was that of her dear sister Nora!

She pawed at the ground slightly with her sharp hoof, and charged.

The adventurer had noticed her creeping up behind him. What he didn’t expect was the hard blow that nearly sent him sprawling onto the grass, now saturated with his latest victim’s blood. He held up his dagger threateningly as Bessy raised a hoof and stomped, bellowing with rage. The adventurer screamed, slashing and stabbing at the angered bovine, trying to get away.

Minutes later, it was silent in the farm south of Falador. The pigs stared terrified through the fence as Bessy rolled the adventurer’s body out of the pasture with her head. The ducks peeked out from behind the reeds before disappearing. The watchdog turned his head away and howled.

Farmer Fred came by later that morning and saw the carnage left behind. He gazed over at Bessy, who still had some blood on her hooves and face, before quickly roping her in. She knew she was in for the slaughterhouse, but was surprised when Farmer Fred placed a heavy bell around her neck.

So the adventurers still torture her with their greed for milk. But at least they wouldn’t kill her any more.

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Tags: Fiction

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