In a room above the Blue Moon Inn, several shadowy figures are gathered. The shades are drawn tightly and a couple of large thuggish gentlemen are waiting outside the securely locked door to deter any loiterers from loitering here. A meeting is in progress and has been going on for a while, judging by the number of empty beer glasses on the table.
1st Person: "What are we going to do about this "Mysterious Editor" thread, Kiara? They're closing in on us!"
2nd Person: "Yea, some of them have even caught on to the fact that we might be more than one person."
Kiara_Kat: "Don't worry, I think I threw them off the trail with my comment about how they don't know if the editor has written under their real name or not."
#1: "All the same, it's getting a bit too close for comfort."
3rd Person: "Well you can only blame yourself – you're the Pink Floyd fan! Wish you were here indeed! What were you thinking when you did up that postcard, anyway??"
#1: "Pink Floyd's got nothing to do with it. That's almost a standard post card greeting from England in the 1950s.: 'The weather is wonderful, wish you were here.' Don't you know any history at all? And so what if I do think they're the greatest band ever. Besides, Kiara made the post card. Not me – I was on vacation."
#2: "Pink Floyd are a bunch of losers who couldn't stay together. The Rolling Stones are a far better band. C'mon now – even Queen could beat the pants off Pink Floyd!"
Kiara_Kat: "C'mon now ladies and gentlemen – rock and roll has got nothing whatsoever to do with this business of the editor's identity at all. Let's stick to the topic at hand."
#1: "OK, so what do they have on us so far?"
#3: "Not a lot actually. Though it was nice to see a pic of Bia_Bf claiming credit for being us. Maybe we should get the photoshop artist or Bia_Bf to write a guest editorial."
#4: "What? As a punishment for a bad photoshop job?"
#2: "That's up to Kiara, if she thinks either of them's good enough, she can contact them without revealing our identities."
#1: "They really haven't got a lot on us yet, have they? Look at the list that Lord_Gromit came up with, pretty pathetic huh?"
The shadowy figure passes round a piece of paper, each member of the party reads it in turn, they all snigger a little…
#3: "Christmas 2001? That was you wasn't it #2? I know it wasn't #1 – he's a n00b. We can all do Retribution – who can't? Getting level 46 prayer's not that difficult with the Ectofunctus, even n00by #1 can do Retribution."
#1: "Well, he's right on one thing – we're all members, or have been at some point. Of course that only narrows it down to about a couple of hundred thousand people, so I don't think that will help them much."
#2: "He's way out on the stats thing though. Do any of us have any stats below 60?
#1: "Yea – you do. So much for calling me a n00b. You're the one who's too cheap to build her own house."
#2: "I did not call you a n00b! That was #3! Besides I'm saving up for full Dharok's -- I can't afford to build a house. If I need one, I'll just use yours."
Kiara_Kat: "Hey, watch it with the n00b talk! My stats are...well...erm..."
They all laugh when they realize that Kiara's stats are the n00biest of the bunch.
Kiara_Kat: "Well now that's nice, isn't it? Go on, laugh! Just remember who hands out the assignments around here. Then we'll see who's laughing when you're all assigned to mod the General forums or re-write the Pest Control Guide!"
All three look down at their feet, embarassed.
4th Person (who up till now has been sitting in the corner hi-alching yew long bows): "Which of us has a purple party hat? I know it's not me and I want to borrow it sometime. I promise not to take it to the wildy."
Everyone, including Kiara_Kat, bursts out laughing. No one offers #4 a party hat of any colour.
#4: "Oh this is good. On the one hand we don't like people dissing the Blokes at Jagex Towers, on the other hand *we* don't like [email protected]!! That's priceless. I didn't think we were quite that illogical. Maybe we should write a story about a spying expedition to Jagex Towers and some of the plans for updates we find there?"
#1: "Yeah! Let's save that for April 1 – that way we can come up with some really crummy stuff that [email protected] would never ever consider for new skills and items."
Kiara_Kat: "Right, like horses!!!"
They all burst out laughing.
#2: "This quest stuff is pretty close though. We've all done all the quests now haven't we? #1 you were lagging on Desert Treasure, but you're wearing the skill cape today so I guess you've finally caught up. Maybe we should stop wearing the quest capes, or Legends capes too for that matter."
#3: "Nah, everybody and his dog's got a Legends cape. We can wear that safely. The quest cape's not a problem either – unless we wear them at Pest Control. Just stay off the Tip.It homeworlds guys, we'll be safe that way."
#4: "At least they can't tell if we're using Firefox or not. Why anyone would stick with IE I really don't know. None of you guys use it do you?"
#2: "Firefox all the way – love those browser tabs!"
#2: "Which of you dropped the 3 digit combat level clue? That was a great piece of misinformation."
#4: "Only about you – slacker! You should come down to Pest Control with me one day and get some combat experience. You can't spend all your time growing herbs and making potions."
#3: "Nah – we should take him to the Wildy one day. A bit of PK'ing would do him good."
#1: "We're getting off topic, and it's getting late. I don't think they've got nearly enough information to identify any of us. Most of them still think we're one person."
#3: "And the Admins, Mods and Crewbies have been a great help, chiming in with more misinformation. Especially Ard_Choille, Hugh_Mannity, vlad_the_old, SaidinWoT and Albosky. We owe them all a few beers."
#4: "As if one person could write a column every week without getting burnout after a couple of months!"
#1: "So it's OK to say we're safe for now. What do you think Kiara?"
Kiara_Kat: "Oh yes, they'll never guess and none of the Admins who do know would tell."
#1: "Great! Look, I've got to run. I promised I'd meet up with GregEchinda6 and interview him for The Times over a few beers. Our identity is safe with him because if he breathes a word to anyone, I'll feed him to the Chaos Elemental piece by piece."
#2: "Ooooh! That sounds like fun. Can I help?"
#3: "Me too!"
#4: "And me!"
Kiara_Kat: "That's enough of that you lot! Now remember, leave separately, don't get seen together. You've all got your assignments for the next month? Good. We'll meet in the Flying Horse Inn next month for our usual topic discussion meeting."
One by one the shadowy figures leave. The last to leave is Kiara_Kat. She takes a quick look round the room, picking up a left behind copy of the Wall Street Journal and a bank note for 1,000 burnt monkfish, then opens the shades. As she leaves she hands over a large moneybag to each of the door guards.
Kiara_Kat: "Here you go boys. Try not to get your pockets picked this time. OK?"
Do you have any thoughts or comments about what you've just read? Want to discuss this article with your fellow Runescapers? We invite you to discuss the article in this forum topic.