The Tip.It Times

Issue 20199gp

Wise Old Man - Part 1

Written by and edited by Hawks

Wise Old Man

Dionysus, or the Wise Old Man, as he is more widely known, is a Saradominist adventurer, having had many great events and happenings in his life. He is now settled into a house ‘in no way befitting of an adventurer of [the Wise Old Man’s] status.’ There he sits, in Draynor Village, plotting and scheming, threatening to undo the large number of good and heroic deeds of his earlier life. He is unbelievably selfish, wanting rewards for these deeds. As a certain RuneScaper named Elfinlocks knows all too well, he is the main suspect in a mysterious robbery in Draynor Village.

Early in life, he was a powerful man, using an upped version of Saradomin strike in combat. Among his many deeds, he aided the dwarves in driving back an attack by rogue trolls in Keldagrim…

“Ehh, who are you?” asked a dwarven guard at the entrance to the city.

“Dionysus, at your service. I have heard you have a bit of trouble with some trolls?”

“Well, I suppose we have. We have been fighting to hold them back from the outskirts of the town,” replied the guard.

“I have come, in Saradomin’s service, to rid you of the problem.”

“Be my guest, young lad, but the dwarves are not responsible for anything that might happen to ye.”

“I have no one to care for me, no one even knows or cares I exist. No one will miss me or hold you responsible for anything.”

“Well, then go ahead into the consortium’s chamber, and they’ll give ye what we know about the trolls.”

As Dionysus entered the chamber, he was confronted by a strong smell of ale, and dozens of arguing dwarves. He sat politely in a chair by the entrance and waited. He sat motionless for nearly an hour, watching the dwarves with increasing disgust. Finally, he took action. He stood, smashing his staff into the ground, leaving a mark that can still be seen to this day. The dwarven leaders stopped squabbling and looked toward Dionysus.

“I am a guest in this house, and while I was going to rid you of your troll problem, now that I see how the city is ruled, I may change my mind.”

Much laughing and merriment erupted as the infectious humor spread around the room. Regardless of whether or not they were drunk, you could tell that the dwarves certainly doubted his abilities.

“You!? Fight the trolls!? Why, even our best guardsmen could do naught but stand by and watch as the trolls tore apart our homes!”

“Your homes?” asked Dionysus. “Your homes, that lay in the center of Keldagrim? Surely you must have quite a problem if the very center of Keldagrim is threatened. I think you are corrupt, and cruel masters to the citizens of this town.”

“Them? They don’t know nothing. They couldn’t rule a town if you threw it at them.”

“While I question your abilities to throw a town, I must nevertheless relieve you of duty.”

Turning to the other dwarves, one of the leaders jokingly said, “Check this guy out! He somehow thinks he can defeat nearly twenty of the most powerful dwarves in the land.”

“I do not think,” Dionysus began, drawing laughs from the dwarves (“Dang right he don’t”).

“I know I have beaten you, otherwise why would I come here, insulting and undermining your authority?”

“You are too stupid to know any different!” yelled out the boldest.

“I have tolerated you enough!” shouted Dionysus. With that, he lashed out with bolts of magic, shooting into the dwarf leader and bouncing through him to kill several of his comrades as well.

“Anyone else?” Dionysus asked angrily, “No one? Good. Now get out of here while you still have your lives!”

As the dwarves scattered, Dionysus went out into the city, looking for evidence of the trolls’ destruction. Everywhere he went in the suburbs, he came upon many torn apart homes and other destroyed buildings. The air was thick with smoke, as if the fires were still burning. As he tracked through the devastation, he came upon the prints of many trolls.

“Aye, this is where we get stumped too. It’s been this way since the attacks started,” said a voice emerging from the brush. The owner of the voice stepped out into sight, revealing him to be a stocky dwarf in Black Guard garb.

“You haven’t been able to go farther than this?” Dionysus laughed. “The trail is as clear as day!”

“Then enlighten us!” shouted the dwarf angrily. “For months we have searched! Searching for a trail that is so well hidden that even the greatest trackers could not find it!”

“For a race that has been so closely related to rock and earth for as long as anyone can remember, you have ignored a vital clue,” replied Dionysus.

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Tags: Fiction Series

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