The Tip.It Times

Issue 22099gp

The HAM Letters - Part 1

Written by and edited by Hamtaro


In light of the raid on the headquarters of the HAM group last year (Fifth Age, Year 171), and the death of Johanhus Ulsbrecht, its leader, in said raid, the security forces of His Majesty, the King of Misthalin, working in conjunction with His Graciousness, the Duke of Lumbridge, have obtained several key documents from the shattered group. The rise of the HAM was made apparent by the recent unveiling of the late Sigmund as a member of the group and the resulting counter-terrorist effort by the government has shattered the organisation over the past two years.

The documents obtained by the Duke’s office have proven essential to further operations against the remains of the group, shedding light on a series of connections across the entirety of Gielinor. The correspondences are few and far between, dated between years 159 and 171 of this age, with several of them undated. That they are all written and managed by Ulsbrecht is testament to the absolute control he held over the organisation and its many sleeper cells, and it is believed that, with further investigation of the recipients’ possessions, an even clearer picture of the organisation may be available to us.

(In order to aid public understanding of the documents, contextualisation has been added before the letter and in the form of footnotes where necessary).

Letter I: A copy of a letter from Johanhus Ulsbrecht to Safalaan Hallow, leader of the Sanguinesti Order of The Myreque at the time (Fifth Age, Year 159)

My Dearest Brother Safalaan, order and wisdom be upon you,

In response to your letter, which was slow in reaching me, I will not dally. Your depiction of the suffering of our brothers in Meiyerditch is touching. I asked the deacon1 to read that particular section (in isolation, you understand) to our members here in the dungeon, and many of them were moved to tears by it.

There is no denying the gravity of the strategic difficulties you face in your insurgency against the tyrannical beasts of Morytania.2 If I may be so bold as to offer you some advice, it would be that, first and foremost, an underground base of operations is absolutely essential. Your courier informs me that your order uses as a base one of the decrepit houses in the slums – it would be wiser to move to an underground location, making large-scale clandestine operations and meetings simpler.

You mention the financial straits faced by your organisation, and your lack of supplies; this is something that we are fortunately in a position to rectify. Our organisation has a good amount of money in its possession, thanks to some recently formed governmental connections in the vicinity of our headquarters. Thus, we have both protection and some embezzled funds, which add to the grassroots money we receive. The courier you sent should return, all being well, with some 5,000 gold pieces and 50 silver bars, with which you can make the weapons you require.

I would also like to extend to you the offer of safety in our camp for any of your members should the situation in Meiyerditch get any more dangerous. Our dungeon will always be open to our bravest brothers across the Salve.

May this letter reach you well,

Letter II: A letter received from the High Priest of Entrana, to Johanhus Ulsbrecht (Fifth Age, Year 163)

Dear Johanhus Ulsbrecht, peace be with you,

As much as we can see that you are a man of pious belief, your last letter did not convince us that there is any need to confuse proselytizing and ethnic cleansing. Your doctrine seems to me to be a fundamental misreading of the scriptures. For example, you wrote in your last letter that “the Holy Book explicitly equates disbelief with monstrosity and belief with humanity”. This is technically true, but it must be remembered that the term ‘humanity’, in the entire canon of Saradominist religious texts, refers to humane behaviours rather than any ethnic principle.

I must also point out the fact that the attacks committed by your group, though small, are more similar in nature to Zamorakian actions than anything else. The bombs used by your group are like the raids of the Kinshra, the abductions you conduct from time to time abhorrent and akin to those by foul Zamorakian priests.

I urge you and your followers to cease your belligerency, return to society, and preach the true virtues of Saradomin, rather than your current ethnic war.

The High Priest of Entrana

Letter III: A copy of a letter from Johanhus Ulsbrecht to Sithik Ints, a member and associate of the organisation, responsible for the Ogre bombing (Fifth Age, Year 163)

My Dearest Brother Sithik, order and wisdom be upon you,

I am glad to hear of the progress you have been making with regards to the art of necromancy. Yanille, with its magical guild, is the perfect place for such research. The naivety and openness of the wizards there contrasts favourably with the paranoid wizards near our base,3 which has long since closed its doors to our organisation. As fellow humans, we do not begrudge them, though they are ignorant.

I urge you to continue down your path, brother. Saradomin willing, our first great strides can soon be made.

May this letter reach you well,
Johanhus Ulsbrecht


1 – The term ‘deacon’ is potentially misleading here. In the HAM hierarchy, a deacon is a non-executive role, located between the organisation’s leaders and the ordinary members. In essence, deacons are orators, using their skill in this department both as a means of electrifying congregations of HAM members in order to spur them into action, and as propagandists and recruiters in towns and villages.

2 – ‘Tyrannical beasts’ refers to the Vyrewatch.

3 – Ulsbrecht here refers to the Wizards’ Tower south of Draynor Village, located a short distance south-west of the HAM base.

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