The Tip.It Times

Issue 11899gp

A Day in a Life in RuneScape #2: Henrietta the Chicken

Written by and edited by hawkxs

Henrietta was a normal chicken, living a somewhat peaceful life on the Falador Farm. Sure she lost a few feathers now and again, but they always grew back. But the one thing that bothered her most was just how insignificant she felt. No one cared when she managed to scratch out some of the Common language on the dirt. No one cared when she laid an egg.

No one cared when she wandered out of the chicken pen through the farmhouse door that an adventurer had carelessly left open. The dog didn't care when she had wandered practically under his nose.

The guards along the path practically snubbed her.

Henrietta had heard of a farm not far from home, where the royal family practically worshipped the chickens. They were noticed and appreciated. They were fed the very best corn. They didn't have to mingle with those messy ducks and deal with a dog. Farmer Fred's Chicken Farm sounded like paradise.

When she finally arrived at the farm, the hens stared in surprise. Who was this chicken that reeked of… Great Saradomin, what were those smells? Henrietta tilted her head as the chickens backed away from her before resuming their feeding, scattering now and again as a human came by to pluck their feathers.

Farmer Fred stepped out of his house, yelling at the adventurers that came to harass his chickens. He counted his chickens, hoping that he'd have enough to fulfill the Duke's order of eggs for the feast later that day. To the shock of the other chickens, Henrietta walked right up to Farmer Fred. Farmer Fred looked down, frowning.

"You're not one of mine… But I suppose you can stay. Duke's been ordering more eggs than usual." As he ushered Henrietta into the coop, there was a loud squawk. "Ah, another perfect one! That makes at least fifty now that you've laid, Elika. Let's hope the other girls start laying as good as you." He picked up the large round egg and carefully placed it inside a hay-lined box and headed back into the farmhouse.

"Well done, Elika!" one of the chickens clucked. Elika puffed up her feathers slightly in pride, then looked over to Henrietta, who was staring at her in admiration.

"Who are you and where do you come from?" Elika demanded.

"H-henrietta. I come from the Falador Farm."

"Falador Farm? That pigsty? No wonder you stink!"

"Y-yes, I-"

"Listen, if you want to stay here alive, you better lay."

"Well that's not too-"

"You saw that egg. You need to lay those."

"But I-"

"Otherwise Farmer Fred will send you to the H.A.M.S."


"To be eaten."

"Wait, no one said-"

"So start laying." Elika clucked several times in what sounded like a vicious cackle before settling down on her nest again.

Henrietta looked helplessly around her. There was no nest to be had. She began to hop onto the sacks of corn that was strewn around the coop. All that was left for her to sit on were the empty boxes with hay inside. She hopped into one of them, ignoring the clucks of laughter.

"Goodness! She thinks she can lay and pack all at once!"

"Oh isn't she special? She thinks she can lay better than all of us already and have her eggs sent out!"

Henrietta adjusted the hay a bit and settled in. Feathers and old hay fell from the shelves above her, and it wasn't entirely comfortable. Still, she would show Elika.


Farmer Fred headed into his coop the next morning, carrying the usual basket for eggs. As usual, he kept a tally for each chicken that had laid the larger-than-normal eggs. He was just about to leave when he heard a cluck at his feet.

"What in the name of…? What is this…? I don't even…!" Farmer Fred set the basket down shakily and knelt down besides a crate. Beside the crate was Henrietta, swelling with pride. Inside the box were not one, not two, not even three, but five large eggs that seemed to shine. Farmer Fred looked at Henrietta, then quickly packed the box and sent it off to the Duke.


"More eggs, Henrietta! The Cook will be most pleased! The Duke said that these were the best tasting eggs he's ever had in his life!" Farmer Fred beamed with pride as Henrietta got off of her nest and went off to feed. As he added the eggs into the special boxes, he remembered that the H.A.M.S. order wasn't complete yet. Picking up a sack, he began to examine his chickens carefully. One by one he began to stuff them inside with little thought until he came to Elika. Elika turned up her beak, then walked off her nest. She was certainly laying well, but not as well as Henrietta… And Henrietta had several chicks now that were growing fast.

He put Elika into the sack.

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Tags: Fiction

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