Recipe For Disaster

Start location: The cook in Lumbridge Castle kitchen.

Requirements:

Note: There are many other requirements needed to complete the different sub-quests, please check those as well.

Monsters: Icefiend (level 50), Evil Chicken (up to level 170), Mudskipper (level 30 and 31), Giant Crab (level 21 and 23), Chompy (level 3), Jubbly Bird (level 9), Black Dragon (level 144), Big Snake (level 92), Agrith-Na-Na (level 182), Flambeed (level 199), Karamel (level 200), Dessourt (level 132), Gelatinnoth Mother (level 130) and Culinaromancer (level 140)

"Table" of Contents

Starting the Disaster

Subquest List:

• Dwarf: A Rock Cake
• Pirate Pete: A Fishcake
• Goblins: A Slop of Compromise
• Skrach "Bone Crusher" Uglogwee: A cooked Jubbly bird
• Lumbridge Sage: Cake of Guidance
• Evil Dave: Evil Stew
• Sir Amik Varze: Crème brulee supreme
• Awowogei: A Giant filled snake
• The Final Fight

Starting the disaster

Talk to the cook in Lumbridge kitchen and accept to help him out. You will need to get him some ingredients again. You will need to bring him a "Dirty Blast", a glass of Greenman's ale, a rotten tomato and an eye of newt. Here's how to get them.

• A "Dirty Blast": Make your own Fruit blast in Gnome Stronghold (not a pre-made from the store) and add ashes afterwards. Instructions for making the fruit blast can be found here.
• Eye of newt: Just buy from the magic shop in Port Sarim or the herblore shop in Taverly.
• Greenman's ale: Buy from Yanille pub
• Rotten tomato: Buy near a pillory or from the duel arena.

Now that you have all the ingredients, give them to the Lumbridge cook. You will complete the first part of the quest and gain one quest point. You will also get an invitation to the dining room. Go there. Now an awesome cutscene will take place. Watch it with both eyes open, it's very nice.

Saving the universe with food

For reasons that you can learn from Gypsy (located in the dining room), time has halted and you need to help the people stuck in time here by giving them special foods. You will need to help every one of them to finish the quest, and every person in the room except for Gypsy is a subquest. The guide below lists the quests, requirements and steps for every part.

Before starting the subquests, you should inspect everyone in the room and then talk to Lumbridge Chef about every one. That way your character will know what to look for.

You should also notice that you can use the Culinaromancer's chest that is in the Lumbridge kitchen cellar. You can use it to bank your items and buy food ingredients (including milk, flour and eggs) and gloves and weapons as you get the subquests done. You can also find a bowl in the Lumbridge kitchen cellar, which is needed in the Dwarf subquest.

Return to Subquest List

Getting the recipe

1. Buy one flour, egg and milk from the Lumbridge kitchen cellar chest. Also pick a bowl from the cellar and fill it with water.
2. Go to Falador pub and talk to the bartender there. Ask about a recipe that the dwarves like and offer her 200gp for it or if you have the activated Ring of Charos, just get the recipe free. Buy at least five Asgarnian ales from the bartender and dip a coin in each of them by using your gp on the ales.
3. Go to the passage under White Wolf Mountain and talk to the old Dwarf (Rohak) there. He will not give you his recipe. Give an Asgarnian ale with a gold piece in it to Rohak and talk to him, then continue to give him those drinks until he gets very drunk. Talk to him and he promises to help you, if you just give him money. Use your gp on Rohak to give 100gp.

Making the cake

1. He needs a bucket of milk, a bowl of water, flour and egg for his cake. For more info on how to find these ingredients, check the Cooking guide. Get these ingredients and bring them to him. He will make you the cake and put it on the table. Pick it up (you need to be wearing gloves). If you are wearing ice gloves, you will simply pick it up and it will be ready to take back to Lumbridge.
2. If you wore other gloves, you will need to cool the cake down before you bring it back. You have three cooling choices. (1) If you have ice gloves, get them from the bank. If you don't, go get them from the ice queen through the same way you did in Heroes' Quest. Drop the cake and pick it up while wearing your ice gloves. The cake will cool down. (2) You can also pick the hot rock cake with gauntlets, go to ice mountain and kill an Icefiend to cool the cake, or drop it on top of ice mountain and pick it up to cool it. (3) If you are not in a rush, you can also just wait for the cake to cool. It will take some time, though.
3. After the cake has cooled, you can take it to the dwarf in the Lumbridge castle dining room. Use it on him to complete this subquest.

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 1000 Cooking and 1000 Slayer experience
• Increased access to the Culinaromancer's Chest
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

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Getting the recipe

Inspect Pirate Pete, then go talk to the Lumbridge Cook. He will tell you how to get the items. You will need Ground Cod (use pestle and mortar on Raw Cod), Ground Kelp, Ground Giant Crab and Breadcrumbs (use a knife on bread). For the Ground Kelp and Ground Giant Crab, you get to go Diving!

Bring a fishbowl, three bronze wires, and one needle and go talk to Murphy on the dock in Port Khazard. He will ask you for the fishbowl, and give you back some equipment. Wear the helmet and diving tank.

Weight Limit: Make sure you are not carrying more than 27kg (check your equipment stats menu) and that you don't have a follower or summmoning pouch with you. There is a bank deposit box near the dock where you can deposit your pet/pouches and any extra items to bring you under 27kg. However, be sure to bring the helmet and diving tank, 3 bronze wires, the needle, and whatever weapons, armour and food you need to fight the 5 level 30 mudskippers.

Talk to Murphy to go diving

Diving

1. Murphy drops you off at the underwater Mogre Camp. First look for green plants (Kelp) and pick one.
2. Go to the room to the north and talk to Nung, he will tell you to get mudskipper hides.
3. Go north-west and pick up the stones until you can't do it any more. Then enter the cave next to the rocks. Kill five mudskippers and pick up their hides.
4. Then exit the cave and go northeast to the swimming ogres. Talk to Nung and give him the hides. He needs a needle and three bronze wires. Give them to him.
5. Go pick five stones and enter the pen with crabs. Kill a giant crab and grab its meat.
6. Now that you've gotten all the ingredients, you have two choices: you can just teleport if you are standing on ground in the crab pen and can access your inventory. If you aren't, you can swim back to the anchor and climb up.

Making the cake

Use your pestle and mortar to grind the kelp and the crab meat. Now go to Lumbridge and talk to the cook. He will tell you how to make the cake. Use one of ingredients on each other one to make a cake. Cook it and use it on Pirate Pete to free him. Be careful not to eat it by accident!

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 1000 Cooking, Fishing, Smithing and Crafting experience
• Access to the Mogre Camp
• Ability to make Crab Armour out of crab claws and shells. More in the tips and tricks section.
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

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Getting a second cook to help

Inspect the goblins stuck in time and talk to the Lumbridge Cook if you haven't already. Talk to the generals in Goblin Village. They won't be much of help, so talk to one of the normal goblins instead. They will tell you to talk to the cook in the village. Go downstairs in the eastern building of Goblin Village and talk to the Goblin Cook. He will ask you for charcoal. Buy it from the general store in Shilo Village or near Tai Bwo Wannai and bring it back to the Cook. Another cutscene will happen and now the cook agrees to help you. He will tell you that he will need orange slices which aren't orange, maggots that aren't bland and bread which isn't crunchy. Here's a list of how to get the items needed:

• Orange slices: buy an orange from the Gnome Stronghold cocktail bar by talking to bartenders and use a knife on it to turn it to slices. Then either get a blue dye from Aggie with woad leaves (the witch in Draynor Village), teleport to Lletya and buy blue, purple, or green dye from the clothes shop there, or even go to the purple dye respawn by the spirit tree in the Khazard battlefield by Ardougne and grab that dye. When you have it, use your blue, purple, or green dye on the orange slices to dye them grey.
• Maggots: Buy or steal spices from Ardougne spice stall and use them on a normal fish bait. (Gnome spice will also work).
• Bread: Use bucket of water on bread. You can buy or steal the bread from the bakery stall in Ardougne if you don't feel like making it.

After getting all the ingredients, bring them to the Goblin Cook. He will make a slop of compromise out of the ingredients. Take it to the goblins to free them.

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 1000 Cooking, Crafting and Farming experience
• Increased access to the Culinaromancer's Chest
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

Return to Subquest List

Helping Rantz

Inspect Skrach and you will get asked by the Gypsy to talk to the Cook. The Cook will ask you to talk to Rantz. Before going there, you should smith one iron bar into an iron spit. So, go talk to him near the cave where you start the Big Chompy Bird Hunting quest. After asking him about it, he will ask you to go a little south-east.

Hunt a chompy and pick up its raw meat, and then use your iron spit on it before you proceed. (To avoid hassle in case you burn the bird, it might be a good idea to hunt several.) Afterwards, go talk to Rantz near the water a little south-east from the place where you first met him. He will now need a lift over the sea. After talking to him he will kick the tree down. Use hatchet on the tree twice to make it seaworthy. Talk to him again and he will shoot an arrow.

Getting the Jubbly Bird

Now, go to the general store south of Brimhaven. Head south along the beach until you see a small tree that has an arrow sticking out of it.Make a fire near the tree and use your mobile spit Chompy on it. Rantz's children will come to take you back. Go with them.

Talk to Rantz about how to catch the new bird. He will tell you. Because we don't have an amulet of ogrespeak (yet?), here's a summary. Use the ogre bellows full of swamp gas on a toad to get it into your inventory. Now, go north of the place where you originally met Rantz. Mine a piece out of the rock a little north-east from the cave entrance (marked with a symbol on mini-map) and then use the bellows on the same toad again while having a ball of wool and a rock in your inventory to make a new kind of chompy-bait. Now, drop the bait somewhere in the hunting grounds and move away from it. A Jubbly bird will soon appear. Kill it, take its meat and cook it on the large spit roast near Rantz's cave. Next, go to Lumbridge and feed it to Skrach in Lumbridge dining room.

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 1500 Cooking, Woodcutting, Ranged and Crafting experience
• Increased access to the Culinaromancer's Chest
• Ability to hunt Jubbly birds
• Ogre boat ride shortcut
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

Return to Subquest List

Getting guidance

Inspect the Lumbridge Sage, Gypsy will ask you to go talk to Traiborn in Wizard Tower. Buy one flour, egg and milk from the Lumbridge kitchen cellar chest. Go and talk to Traiborn. He will ask you to bring him an egg, a bucket of milk and a pot of flour. Bring them to Traiborn. He will then start a quiz on you. He will show you three persons that you need to identify. The NPCs shown differ between players. Keep on trying and eventually you will get it done.

Now the egg is egghan... enchanted. Next you will enchant the milk. Traiborn will ask you three general questions, which are different for each player. Again, keep trying until you get them right. Opening the world map might help. Sample questions:

• What ingredients are used in a cake? Flour, Eggs and milk
• Which tower is closest to the Crafting Guild? Dark Wizards'
• What is the defence level requirement to wear a Mystic Hat? 20
• A glass vial is to 33, as a glass orb is to... 46
• How much gp does it take to bribe a guard at the toll gate to Al Kharid prior to earning their trust? 10
• The combat level of Goblins near Lumbridge is: 4
• A gold ring is to 5, as a holy symbol is to... 16
• I'm in a bar west of Pollnivneach. Where am I? Bandit Camp
• What's the name of the toy seller in Draynor village? Diango
• What is the nearest guild to the Fishing Platform (as the seagull flies)? Legends'
• The River Salve runs from...? North to South
• I can hear howling in one direction and buzzing in the other - where am I? Catherby
• What doesn't lie between Morytania and Asgarnia? Keep Le Faye
• Take the number of Fire Runes required to cast Fire Strike, and multiply by the number of Air Runes used to cast Wind Strike before adding the number of Earth Runes used to cast Earth Wave. What do you get? 10
• If I'm going to need glass, first I will need: Sand, bucket, soda ash, glass blowing pipe

Talk to Traiborn again to enchant the flour. He will show you a selection of items and ask you a question afterwards three times. If you want to make it easy, you can take a screenshot of the picture by hitting print screen and then pasting it to Paint. Keep trying until you get three questions right in a row.

Making the cake

Now that you have all of the ingredients, Traiborn will give you the items back. Use one of them on a cake tin to make a raw cake of guidance. Then just cook it and bring it to the guide.

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 2500 Cooking and Magic experience
• Increased access to the Culinaromancer's Chest
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

Return to Subquest List

Getting the evil taste

If you need to get stews, you can buy them from the pub west from Seers Village bank for 20gp each.

1. Talk to Doris in front of the house west of Edgeville's bank. Ask if you can see Dave. She will let you go see him.

2. Open the trapdoor and go down. Ask Dave what food you gave him. He asks why. Tell that you have to get the food to get the magic right. He will tell you that he had a very evil stew.

3. Talk again to Doris, and she will tell you that all her spices were eaten. You have to make your cat hunt the Hell-Rats in the cellar and get spices. Note that after your cat eats 4-8 Hell-Rats, it turns into a Hellcat (of the same growth/physical stage it was at, including a possible Hell Kitten).

4. Mix them into the stew until you get the right dosage of every spice. To check if a spice amount is right, talk to Dave and he will tell you how many spices are right in the stew. You should try the spices one by one for example stew with only 1 yellow spice, stew with 2 yellow spices, stew with 3 yellow spices and write the number of that spice down when he accepts the stew. Then do this with each spice (there are 4 different spices: red, brown, yellow, and orange) until you find the correct number of each spice is right for the recipe. When you get the recipe right, Dave will not eat the stew like normal, but he will give it back to you. The recipe differs for each player.

5. After you have found the right combination, take it to Lumbridge and give the stew to Dave to free him.

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 7000 Cooking Experience
• Ability to make a Spicy Stew
• Ability to own a hell-cat
• Increased access to the Culinaromancer's Chest
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

Return to Subquest List

Starting out

First inspect Sir Amik Varze to learn what you need to make. Talk to the Lumbridge cook and ask about every ingredient. The recipe is:

"Add a bucket of milk to a pot of cream. Make cornflour by grinding sweetcorn at a mill and add it to the mixture. Add a vanilla pod, which can be found in the Kharazi Jungle. Add an egg from the Evil Chicken to the mixture. Sprinkle the top of the brulee with cinnamon. Get a dragon to flambee the crème brulee."

Getting the ingredients

Get two buckets of milk. Churn one to cream and use the other milk on the cream. Note that you can buy the milk and cream from the chest in Lumbridge kitchen cellar. Go to any mill and put one raw sweetcorn through the mill to get some cornflour. Use it on the mixture. Next, you need to go to the Kharazi Jungle, south of Shilo Village. If you have started the Legends quest but have not yet accessed the jungle, you will need to bring Radimus' scrolls and have a conversation with the jungle forester to be able to enter. Once inside, head south-west, along the jungle coastline, and you should find some vanilla plants.

Search them until you find a vanilla pod and use it on the mixture. Go talk to the Wise Old Man in Draynor Village. Ask him about the evil chicken under the strange beasts-section. You need to go to Zanaris. Take your dramen staff, an anti-dragonbreath shield, a weapon, and a raw chicken with you. You should also have prayer points maxed if you can use the protect from magic prayer. Go to Zanaris, wear your anti-dragon shield and use your raw chicken on the statue just next to the ladder. You will get to the Evil Chicken's lair. Run to the north, put your protect from magic prayer on and fight the evil chicken. Pick up its egg and use it on your mixture.

Finishing the crème brulee supreme

Now you need some cinnamon. To get it, you will need a dramen branch. Go to the Entrana dungeon (remember that you can't have any armour or weapons with you) and fight zombies until you get an axe. Use the axe on the dramen tree to get a dramen branch. Get a pestle and a mortar and use them on the branch. Use the cinnamon you get on the mixture. Then you need to head back to the Evil Chicken's lair once more and kill a Black Dragon. There is a range spot if you stand about one step into the path to the east. From there you can fight the one dragon that is furthest to the south-east. If you do not want to range the dragon, then bring your normal dragon fighting equipment and a good bit of prayer potions. Kill one black dragon from the lair of the Evil Chicken. Pick up the token that the dragon drops. Get out from the chicken's lair, wear your ice gloves or Anti-Dragonbreath Shield if you don't want to get hurt and rub the token. A Fairy Dragon named K'klik will appear. After a short discussion you get to ask it for various things. You can ask him for various things, for example experience and a horse, but you won't get them. Ask K'klik to flambee your crème. It will do it. Take it to Sir Amik Varze to free him.

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 4000 Cooking and Constitution experience
• Access to the Evil Chicken's lair
• Increased access to the Culinaromancer's Chest
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

Return to Subquest List

Getting the recipe

Take your monkeyspeak amulet, Zombie monkey greegree, Gorilla greegree, and ninja monkey greegree (more info about monkey greegrees in Tips and Tricks-section) with you and go meet Awowogei in Ape Atoll in any monkey form.

He will not tell you his favourite dish, but reveals that three monkeys know what it is. Go to the north-western corner of the ape temple and talk to the three monkeys there. They will tell you the special recipe. You need monkey nuts, a banana and a big snake corpse. Go back to Lumbo and have him take you back to Crash Island (this is where the gnome flyer took you). Enter the dungeon on the centre of Crash Island. Make sure you are prepared to protect yourself from melee attacks.

The pit a multi-combat area filled with snakes that will attack you. Kill one of them and take its corpse (you also may want to get a second one in case you burn the final dish). The nuts and bananas can be bought from the food shop in Ape Atoll. Go back to the three apes.

Getting the right ingredients

The apes will tell you that the banana is not good. So, go as far west as you can and use a rope on the banana tree with red bananas in it while in the gorilla form.

You can take two by dropping the first and using the rope on the tree again. You could take a third if in case you burn the final dish. Afterwards, go back to the three monkeys and talk to them They will eat the first banana. Talk to them again and they will tell you that your monkey nuts are not good. Go to the agility course to the south and wield your ninja monkey greegree.

When you are up and have gone over the ropeswing, go down the hole and pick a new special monkey nut. Drop it to the ground, pick another from the bush and pick the one up from the floor. Again, pick a third if you wish, and then go back to the three monkeys and talk to them. After they eat the nut, talk to the three apes once more. They will tell you where to cook the food.

Use a knife on the banana and a pestle and a mortar on the nut. Then use the banana slices on the snake corpse. Then turn to zombie form and go down the trapdoor in the eastern side of the temple to the temple dungeon. Go through the "exit" in the wall a little west from the stairs. Walk over the hot floor and use the stuffed snake on the rock. The snake will be cooked. Go to Lumbridge and give the snake to Awowogei to free him.

Rewards

• 1 Quest Point
• 10000 Cooking and Agility experience
• Ability to use the Teleport to Ape Atoll spell
• 2 Treasure Hunter keys

Return to Subquest List

After you have freed everyone from the dining room, a new cutscene will appear. Culinaromancer will escape and you have to go after him. Before you go though, you should get prepared. You will be attacked by lots of different kind of monsters. You can't use prayer in the fighting place, so that is out of question. You can get out of the place whenever you want by using one of the portals on the four sides, but while fighting Karamel you might have problems getting to the portal because she will keep on freezing you. If you leave the portal and come back, the monster will be restored to full LP. It's highly recommended that you go restock after every monster if you have the need for it. Here's the list of the monsters that will attack you.

1. Agrith-Na-Na (level 182): This creature uses magic attacks from a distance and melee when you're up close. Be aware that it can hit high amounts of damage so make sure you bring proper armour and food.

2. Flambeed (level 199): Make sure you wear Ice gloves or you will be unable to wield a weapon. Magic is effective against this creature, though melee works as well.

3. Karamel (level 200): This creature will use magic attacks on you and frequently freeze you. Every time her attack hits she will drain your stats and take 70 LP. Keep an eye on your stats and drink some restore potion. It is recommended to use fire spells against this creature as they are very effective.

Note: You will unable to use a weapon's special attack while fighting Karamel.

4. Dessourt (Level 132): This creature will attack you with melee, magic, and ranged at the same time. Be careful because his attack speed is fairly high. It is recommended to fight Dessourt using ranged, or with magic using air spells. Melee is less effective.

5. Gelatinnoth Mother (level 130): Did you like the Dagannoth Mother in the Horror From the Deep quest? Guess what, you get to fight a same type of monster again. To make it even funnier, you can't use prayer this time! For this boss, make sure your armour provides decent ranged and melee defence, however do not let your offensive magic bonus fall below 5. The Gelatinnoth will change colours - starting out in white - each of which comes with their own weakness:

• Red - Fire spells
• Brown - Earth spells
• Blue - Water spells
• White - Air spells
• Green - Ranged attack
• Orange - Melee attack

6. Culinaromancer (level 140): Even though his level is only 140, he will still inlfict up to 250 damage every now and then. Just get a good magic defence and use ranged or melee against him. You will be teleported out of the mysterious place after he explodes.

Now that you have defeated the Culinaromancer you will finally finish the whole quest. You will be rewarded two Quest Points, 20,000 experience lamp, 2 Treasure Hunter keys, and full access to the Culinaromancer's Chest.

The sum of all rewards is:

• 28,000 Cooking Experience
• 10,000 Agility Experience
• 4,000 Constitution Experience
• 3,500 Crafting Experience
• 2,500 Magic Experience
• 1,500 Ranged Experience
• 1,500 Woodcutting Experience
• 1,000 Fishing Experience
• 1,000 Smithing Experience
• 1,000 Slayer Experience
• 1,000 Farming Experience
• 20,000 experience in any skill you want from the antique lamp (level must be at least 50)
• Full access to the Culinaromancer's Chest
• Ability to own a hell-cat
• Ability to make a Spicy Stew
• Ability to cook fishcakes (heal 700), crab meat (heals 420 in 5 bites), and jubbly (heals 820).
• Ability to use the Teleport to Ape Atoll spell
• 18 Treasure Hunter keys

• Do No Evil
• Great Brain Robbery, The
• Love Story
• While Guthix Sleeps

• If you need food items, you can easily buy them from the Lumbridge kitchen cellar chest after you have been invited to see the cutscene.
• The Culinaromancer chest is located in the cellar of Lumbridge Castle kitchen. You can bank your stuff there, but if you right-click, you can also buy some food ingredients (including milk, flour and eggs) and items from the chest. The more subquests you finish, the more items you will get out of the chest. The weapons obtainable from the chest are nothing special, but the Culinaromancer's gloves become increasingly good with the Culinaromancer's gloves 10 being the best. These gloves all give very good bonuses in all attack and defence stats, as well as a strength bonus.
• More hellcats can be trained by killing 4-8 Hellrats in Evil Dave's basement. They can be turned back to normal by giving them milk or talking to Doris while having the Hellcat with you. It's only possible to have one Hellcat.
• Crab Armour can be made by using a chisel on a crab claw or shell. You get a crab claw or shell drop every now and then while killing Giant Crabs.
• The Spicy Stews give bonuses and penalties to stats based on spices used (see cooking guide - stews.
• The monkey greegrees can be made by bringing a corpse or bones of the needed monkeys and 1 monkey talisman for each corpse or bone to the mage gnome Zooknock in the Ape Atoll dungeon. For more info, check the Monkey Madness Quest Guide.
• The evil chicken's level will vary according to your combat level.
• You can try to use the ring of recoil or poisoned weapons in the final fight to make it easier. Agrith-Na-Na, Flambeed, Dessourt, and the Culinaromancer are all affected by poison.